Even Fairy Tales are useless?
by armaani
Summary: no matter what kind of idea you try...you can't change Luffy's way of thinking...sorry for lame summary
1. Chapter 1

Let's consider that Hancock is in Straw-Hat crew some time in future…and so, let it began

**Tale 1: Hansel & Gretel aka. Luffy & Hancock**

…but fortunately they are not brother and sister…XD…luckily Hancock drew the short straw and decided to accompany Luffy on his adventure, even after the strict objection by few other members…she did drew the short straw after all or it was a lucky draw from Hancock's perspective

Luffy and Hancock were walking in middle of the forest and Luffy was of course jumping here and there barely containing his excitement for adventure. "_Luffy seems to be enjoying himself_" Hancock was looking at excited Luffy with a relieved smile "_but…I'm with Luffy right now, isn't it like a…date?_" cupping her face in both hands she started blushing "_no no no…there's no way this could be a date, how can it be a date in the middle of forest?_" she looked around the woods to analyze the surroundings more closely "_in the middle of the forest…alone…with Luffy…_" Hancock stopped in her tracks as some really 'hot' images started to appear in background aka. Hancock's mind, her cheeks started getting even redder (readers are free to imagine what kind of images…well those kind with sparkling backgrounds and some really sexy voices…characters with one sided crush do that a lot...)

"OI HANCOCK! WHAT'RE YOU SPACING OUT FOR? HURRY UP OR I'LL LEAVE YOU BEHIND" Hancock was pulled out of her 'wonder-land' by Luffy who was quite far away now. "ah!...LUFFY! WAIT FOR ME…" and she followed his beloved

Both were walking further into deep woods for a while now , Luffy had a wide grin as usual and was rhyming his regular 'south-island' and 'north-island' verse while Hancock was having a hard time containing her excitement for being with Luffy alone, when they arrived in an open field, a house was situated there

"WOHO! Hancock look, that house is made of gingerbread and cake" Luffy's tongue hanged out along with some drool. "_~waaah! He's just like a kid, how cute~ _" her deep blue eyes were sparkling after witnessing Luffy's awesome cuteness once again. Luffy ran quickly closer to the house when an old looking lady came out of house. (don't sweat figuring who the old lady is, she's just an 'old-evil-looking-witch-like' woman)

Old Lady: "hoho! such cute kids, it's been a long time since I had guests like you"

"*twitch* _kids she say? _Watch your mouth, I'm a mature woman you old bat" she sure got nerves to call Hancock a kid, she's been most desired woman in all seas for quite a while now

"my, don't get so angry, let's go inside so that I can entertain you properly…OI! WHAT THE?" her eyes popped out as she noticed that Luffy had already launched a massive raid on her house and was devouring it like a cannibal devouring its preys

"YOU BRAT! FINE, LET'S QUIT THE STUPID TALK, I'LL CUT YOU TWO TO PIECES AND MAKE A SPLEDID RECIPEE OUT OF YOU, JUST LIKE I HAD ALREADY PLANNED" that old lady took a big ass axe out of nowhere and pointed it towards Luffy showing it's shinning blade

"huh? So she's a bad guy after all, somehow I could sense her evil intentions but didn't bothered since she was a weakling" Luffy resumed his activity again

"what did you say, you brat?" she was gritting her teeth "I'll definitely cut you in million pieces, especially that beautiful little girl, I bet her flesh is extremely soft and juicy" just as she turned her face towards Hancock a kick landed on her jaw crashing her in the few remains of the house. Hancock looked really pissed, kinda like when she was in marine-ford "you dare point that hideous thing towards my beloved? I'll make you pay dearly for it"

"oh Hancock! You gonna take care of her? "

"of course Luffy! don't worry about me" Hancock's expression changed to a cute one within a second "although I'm happy that you're worrying about me " Hancock said to herself and both resumed their own activity afterwards

After few minutes outside walls and roof-top of house were disappeared and the old-looking witch was lying beaten up by Hancock. "maaaaan! I'm full, that was yummy though" Luffy was rubbing his belly with his usual expression

"_he ate the whole house! I'm still amazed by his appetite_" Hancock was smiling awkwardly

"anyway! Let's go back" both Luffy and Hancock left to meet up with everyone else

"…what kind of Hansel and Gretel was that?" Anonymous reader muttered with a sweat drop…

**THE END…XD**

**Tale 2: Rapunzel aka Hancock**

Hancock was once again walking in deep forest "I wonder where Luffy went to? I just took my eyes off of him for one second and he disappeared, I hope nothing bad has happened" she was indeed worried about his beloved 'future husband' even though he never agreed to marry her though. Hancock arrived in an open field and there was a tower in middle of it. There was a room on top of the tower without any stairs or access to it but with only a window

"this place has a strange feeling to it" Hancock leapt forward and easily reached the window doing an amazing wall-run and jumped inside the room

"AAAH! WHO'RE YOU?" there was a young blonde girl standing freaked out by Hancock's sudden appearance. She had really long hair "_wow! That's some hair_" even Hancock was surprised

"what're you doing here?" Hancock asked

"this is my room…I mean, I live here…my mother is kinda strict and since I'm a bit unique she says I shouldn't leave here because outside world is dangerous, even though I want to go out but since my mother didn't permit it, I have to stay here…" she said nervously lightly kicking the hairs spread across the room

"_s-she blurted out everything on her own_" Hancock had a big sweat drop "listen now, be a grown up girl, you don't have to listen to everything your mother says" Hancock moved a little closer to her

Blonde girl "r-really?"

Hancock "yes, you want to go out, right?"

Blonde-girl "yes I do…"

Hancock "then don't hesitate and live your dream"

Convinced by Hancock she agreed and both were standing outside the tower now "should I really be doing this?" she was still nervous, Hancock sighed and place her hand on girl's shoulder "it's fine, I'm sure your mother will be happy where ever you're happy" Hancock said with one of her most alluring smiles, amazed by her that girl quickly grabbed all of her hair and ran to a random direction in the forest "SORRY MOTHER! BUT I'LL BE BACK VERY SOOOOON…" and she disappeared in the woods. A smile appeared on Hancock's face…more like a smirk "now then! Let's see if there is anything in that room that is worthy enough to surprise Luffy" Hancock went back to the room and started searching

So far she didn't find anything which Luffy would categorize as 'interesting' then she heard a yell from outside "RAPUNZEL! YO RAPUNZEL! WHERE ARE YOU, I'M HERE LET'S HAVE A GAME OF UNO TODAY" a young man was yelling at the top of his voice outside the tower

"_who is this idiot?_" Hancock was irritated and walked over to see who it was. Just as she appeared in the window that boy's voice stuck right in his throat

"Rapunzel is not here right now so you can come back later" before she could leave to resume her search, boy spoke up "forget Rapunzel how about you... _I've never seen a babe of her caliber before_"

"what?" she was getting irritated even more

"how about it? Wanna go out with me? I know quite some places we can go to" he was acting quite high and arrogant

"I'm not interested" she plainly refused

"now, now, don't be so mean, I guarantee you'll enjoy your time with me" he said with an arrogant smirk trying to act cool

"I said I've no interest, you're just a jerk, all men are just jerks after all…" turning on the cute-mode again "…except him"

"_him? Whoever this him is, looks like she like 'him', _tch! Who's is this 'him'? I'm gonna show you I'm definitely better than…'him'…" he sounded quite confident

"yo! I'm Luffy" Luffy was standing beside the boy and was picking his nose which surprised the hell out of that boy

"ah! Luffy you're back" Hancock said excitedly

"_so, this is…'him'? I don't see anything special in him, he's just an idiot looking brat_" boy got serious all of a sudden

"hmm? Oh Hancock! what are you doing up there?" Luffy noticed her and started waving

"_yosh! This is my chance_…ummm…Luffy…!" turning on the nervous-mode now "..,how about…i throw down my hair and you grab them and climb up using them?...that sound great right? Right?" it took quite some courage for her to say that, but just in a moment Luffy stretched his arm which again scared the shit out of the boy standing beside him, Luffy was sitting on the edge of window within a second "what's this room?"

Hancock threw down her shoulders in disappointment "n-nothing special" she certainly felt like she was turned down once again

"_HIS ARMS STRETCHED…IS HE A…MONSTER?_" his eyes were wide open, jaw was dropped and he fell to ground himself

"hmph…you're right, there doesn't seem to be anything special here, let's go back" Luffy said quite disappointed and then jumped down

"yes! Luffy I'm coming too" she said excitedly

Boy from before gathered some courage and stood up "oi wait you, what kind of ill-mannered guy you are? shouldn't you help her get down?" surprisingly he sounded kinda angry

"what're you talking about?" Luffy was picking his nose again

"wa…what do you mean 'what're you talking about?'don't you have a brain?" he said angrily, next moment Hancock landed beside the two boys scaring the shit out of the other one once again "let's go Luffy" she was smiling and blushing

Both walked towards the woods and the boy was looking at them with wide eyes and dropped jaw again "_b-both of them are monsters, that's right only something outside the realm of this world could be that beautiful…_"

Rapunzel never returned, she started her own pirate crew named 'long-haired pirates' where every crew-member had long hairs but none had longer than hers…

**The End…**

"…once again…what kind of Rapunzel was that?" Anonymous reader from before muttered again with a sweat drop…

Next Time…Hancock will try to kiss Luffy using some Disney ideas…

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THANKS FOR READING…YOUR REVIEWS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED… GOOD BYE…


	2. Snow White?

**Tale 3: Snow White**

Luffy was exploring a forest once again, but this time alone. He didn't know it but Hancock was secretly following him almost hiding her presence

"_yosh! This time I'll definitely make Luffy kiss me…aaahhhh! What am I thinking? This is so embarrassing…but I won't give up, he wouldn't do it directly but I'll have to trick him then…and when he would kiss me I'll secure my spot as her wife_" Hancock's eyes were sparkling and she was blushing, pulling herself out of her dreams she started walking to a different direction

after a while Hancock reached in an open field with a house in middle "_ah! There it is now's my chance_" Hancock went to the said house and a young very beautiful girl was performing normal chores, but of course she wasn't nearly as beautiful as Hancock right?...right?...anyway…Hancock went closer to the girl…by the way she was outside…

"oh hi there…Snow white was it?" Hancock waved to the girl with a smile

"w…who're you?..._she's so beautiful_" even Snow White was surprised by her bright piercing beauty

"oh my! You're all tired by working so hard…" turning the cute-mode on "…shouldn't you take a break and go to a walk in forest?"

Snow white was dazzled by the brightness of her beauty mixed up with generosity "y…yes, I would like to…but everyone will be back soon and I've to make everything ready for them" she was still a bit nervous

"don't worry about that I'll take care of it" Hancock said assuring Snow white

"well…if you say so" Snow white happily threw away everything she had equipped and left to forest while skipping and singing something

Hancock went inside the house to devise a proper strategy, after some more time while she was just going through the belongings of the house to pass some time she heard some voices from outside

"oi snow white, we're home…" seven dwarves entered the house and jammed in their tracks as they noticed Hancock instead of snow white

"w…who are y-you?" one of them said surprised

"oh no…someone other than snow white is in our house…" scared dwarf panicked

"….whatever…let's just…rest…for a bit…" lazy dwarf said lazily

"tch! How dare you step in our home without permission…" angry dwarf said angrily

"hahaha..hahahaha…hahahaha" happy dwarf was laughing non-stop

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" Angry-one yelled

"cause I'm happy dwarf and I'm supposed to be happy all the time"…angry-one punched him in head "oww! Why did you hit me?" happy-one asked while rubbing his head

"cause I'm angry dwarf and I'm suppose to be angry…dimwit"

"oh come on everyone, don't panic over just one person, maybe she's a guest" this one looked quite sensible

"would you all KEEP IT DOWN" Hancock finally settled down the commotion and the seven dwarves looked at her slightly scared now "now then…which one of you is the leader?" Hancock asked them

"no no, none of us is a leader, we're all brothers" dwarf

"whatever…then all of you listen to me…I need you to help me…" Hancock

"what kind of help?" dwarf

even though they were dwarves they couldn't resist Hancock's charms and she convinced them to help her…now then…Luffy was exploring the forest on his own while humming his usual chant when a dwarf called him from above a tree branch "oi you there!"

"eh?" Luffy turned to see the source of sound earlier and saw a dwarf sitting on a tree branch

"you! Your name is Luffy right?" dwarf asked again

"Oi you little-man, what's with you? you look quite cool while sitting on that tree"

"a…yeah yeah, anyway…I've something to tell you hurry up and follow me" dwarf started jumping from tree to tree to a particular direction

"oi wait for me…hehe! He sure is a cool little-man" Luffy followed the dwarf

After a while of chasing a house in middle of open-field appeared and the dwarf from before landed on ground along with his other six brothers, just then Luffy also arrived there

"wow…there are six others just like you" Luffy said excitedly

"oh yes, we are the seven dwarf brothers…but that's not important right now" that dwarf got serious all of a sudden

"eh? What do you mean?" Luffy asked

Dwarves quickly moved in a planned formation and carried outside a casket like box with transparent glass as lid, they placed it before Luffy, there was a heavenly maiden in a pure white gown sleeping peacefully in it…or it appeared to be so…

"…?..." Luffy

"you see…this young girl was cursed by an old wrenched witch and now she's in a deep slumber only a kiss from her true love can bring her back to life…" dwarf explained to Luffy…after few moments of silence

"so?" Luffy casually said picking his nose

"s-so?" suddenly that dwarf lost her cool "so you suppose to go ahead and kiss her to wake her up"

"but…that's Hancock" still picking his nose

"YEAH SHE'S HANCOCK, BUT SO WHAT? GO AHEAD AND KISS HER ALREADY SO THAT WE CAN REST EASY" dwarf was surely pissed even though he was the calm one

"…no, I don't wanna…" Luffy's this statement left seven dwarves speechless and Hancock snapped still pretending to be asleep "more importantly…you guys are pretty cool…" Luffy lifted one of the dwarf in air "…what ya say? Wanna join my crew?"

"_luuuuufyyyyyyyy_" Hancock was so jealous of those seven bugs, how can he be more interested in them instead of her?

"NO WAY…there's no way we'll become pirates anyway why don't you kiss her and wake her up?" dwarf

"I told you I don't wanna…let her sleep, she must be really tired if she's sleeping in there" Luffy

"_oh! He's worrying about me…I'm so happy…wait that's not what should be happening_" Hancock

"well if that's all then I'm leaving" Luffy turned to leave, leaving a speechless group of people behind but then he stopped suddenly and turned back, noticing something he started moving closer to the container where Hancock was 'pretending to be asleep', Luffy stood beside it and started looking at Hancock's face

"_w-what is this? I-I can feel it somehow, luffy is there, he's looking at me, I can feel his warm gaze upon me_" Hancock started to get nervous now, Luffy lifted up the lid and bent down getting closer to Hancock's face

"_i…I can feel his breadth, he's getting closer, is he really gonna …kiss me…is my…dream gonna come…true?_" Hancock's face started getting more and more flushed as the distance between them was closing and when their faces were just few centimeters apart Luffy stopped advancing, moved his hand and after grabbing something from beside Hancock's head stood straight up with his hand up in the sky, he was holding a …coin of 5 bellies…

"wow! Look, I found a lucky coin"

Everyone almost fell on ground, Hancock's face was almost completely covered with darkness of depression and redness of embarrassment

"man! Today sure was lucky! Including this lucky coin to my own luck, I'm gonna get super lucky" he has already gotten super-duper lucky but being Luffy he didn't realize himself and disappeared in the forest

After a few moments of Luffy's disappearance "DAMN YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF METAL…" Hancock sat up abruptly shattering the piece of glass to pieces with her fist "…I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY"

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THANKS FOR READING...XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Final Tale: There are no tricks or Rules in Love  
**

Hancock was depressed…quite depressed, so far everything she has tried to make Luffy happy or to get closer to him ended in vein, of course he cares about her as a precious friend but that's not all Hancock wanted, she wanted to be something more than just a friend, even though at times friends are more helpful than anyone else but that's not the point, Luffy is the kind of a guy who don't make friends just to utilize their help afterwards but because he will do anything for the person he likes and consider a friend

Leaving these things aside now Hancock diverted her attention to the real issue…last try was a big failure…of course, how would something like that pick Luffy's interest? Now, even if she tries other ideas they are awfully similar, for instance what if she along with her whole Kuja tribe were put into deep slumber and whole island was covered in bushes and veins, in that case…

Luffy entered the village and was looking here and there curiously, this was definitely an adventure for him but one thing was strange, why was everyone asleep and it looked like whole place hasn't been tended by anyone for years, it appeared to be more like ancient ruins

After exploring some more Luffy reached a place which appeared to be a castle…well…not that sort of castle but still quite big as one, Luffy curiously went in and noticed that even in here everyone was sleeping, after some more exploring Luffy found a big room and went in…it's door was open after all…

There was an extremely beautiful woman was sleeping on floor "I wonder why is she sleeping on floor when there's such a big bed right there" Luffy said to himself with a usual dumb look, now Luffy remembered that everyone was sleeping at an unusual place

"they must be really tired I guess…" looking here and there once Luffy started scratching the back of his head "if I wake them up they will be angry…" he let out a sigh of disappointment "…I guess I should go back without making some noise" and he left…

That would happen if Luffy happened to be in world of sleeping beauty…

Now then… what if Luffy was turned into a beast because he was cursed by a witch and a man accidentally entered his castle, now to save his life he promised Luffy to send his daughter instead

"what? Your daughter? What would I do with her? Don't you have any meat?" beast-luffy said ferociously

"well…I'm kinda…poor…so I don't have much to give you" that poor man was really confused

"hmmm…well ok! Do whatever you want" Luffy left to his room least bit interested in that guy's offer…

Hancock came to Luffy's castle and started living with a scary looking beast on behalf of her father, one night they were having dinner

"l-luffy, I'll be happy to…m…marry you and that way your curse will be lifted and you'll be back to normal again" Hancock said nervously

"are you kidding me? Look how cool looking monster I am…" Luffy's eyes were shining "there's no way I'll go back to normal" …and he left, leaving a stunned and disappointed Hancock behind…Luffy lived rest of his life as a cool and scary rubber monster who loved meat and adventure…

Even if it were one of the most famous fairy tale of all time where a princess is held in a castle which was guarded by a dragon, like always Luffy would be more interested in a dragon…that's it…Hancock made up her mind this time, there are no rules or tricks in love after all, she just has to believe in herself and her undying love for Luffy

Hancock went to Sunny's deck, Luffy was sitting on Lion's head resting his hands behind the head, as he was enjoying the cool breeze he had a big smile on his face as always

"_luffy is so cute_" Hancock thought while her eyes dazzled by Luffy's cuteness…which was by the way acknowledged only by Hancock among their crew members, for others he was just a reckless idiot. Hancock was almost pulled into another daydream but somehow she managed to shake herself out of it, now to her destination

"l-luffy" Hancock called him in a semi-low tone, Luffy turned his head to look at her

"yo Hancock! What's up?" Luffy said in usual happy tone

"I…I wanted to ask something" she was blushing

"what? That again?" he said with a bored expression

"n-no…not that…it's just…w-will you…!...will you go on a date with me when we reach next island?" she always kept asking Luffy to marry her but for some reason asking for a date felt much more difficult, for few moments there was pure silence except the sound of sea waves, a big smile appeared on Luffy's face again "it's just that? Sure, I've to go exploring anyway…" that was all, just like that Hancock's date with Luffy was fixed, not like it's gonna be much different…but from Hancock's perspective…it was a bit too easy…

On an unknown island, yet again Luffy exploring in the forest followed by Hancock, no idea how this was any different than before but Hancock was content enough because it was confirmed to be date by Luffy himself, a date in the forest…only Straw-hats can do that

"this sure is fun but…" he turned to Hancock while walking on "…how is this any different? Looks like the same fun exploring to me…"

"…what matters is… how you think of it" Hancock turned her gaze to the trees in forest wearing a smile, Luffy kept staring at her for few moments, she looked more happy than before, at-least that much Luffy could tell, he turned his head in front again, "Hancock…" after few moments of silence he said gaining Hancock's full attention which was already mostly towards him, his voice wasn't like before at all, it was different this time, filled with seriousness

"I won't marry you…" Luffy rejected her many times before but this time, the way he said it was completely different "…not yet…", Hancock couldn't understand what this exactly means, so, for the moment she just kept staring at him, "…if I made up my mind to marry anyone anytime in future, it would be no one other than you…I mean…who else can I marry anyway? I'll be Pirate king, and I'm sure most of people would hate me for that, only ones who wouldn't are my friends and you guys, so what I mean is…" Luffy turned his head back to Hancock again forming another smile "…you don't have to worry, just wait a bit longer…"

Hancock had no idea what to say in response, there was nothing to say, a strange feeling started to rise within her chest, similar to the one she had at that night in Amazon Lily, Luffy had experienced friendship the most so far like most of the straw hats, but not every straw hat is like that either…especially the female ones. Other than friends he had brothers but they are not here anymore, enemies… he has a lot of them and a grandfather who kept beating him to shit all the time…and given his attitude most of people thought that he doesn't know about love or things related to that…but that's not right, he knew about everything, he was stupid or idiot or anything else what people called him, but he wasn't a kid, he knew what marriage is, he knew what love is, he knew about 'this-and-that-and-all-those-other-things', most important of all, he knew about Hancock's feelings, he wasn't just interested in these kinda things so far, that's the only reason for his actions and personality

Luffy was still looking at her while smiling, "I'll try not to take much long…" he turned his eyes back again "…or you'll turn into a hag"

A smile appeared on her face "that's fine, for you, I'll grab hold of it, even if I have to fight with the guardian of timeline, I'll definitely find a way to grab hold onto this beauty…just for you" her face was getting redder every moment

"that's not really necessary, but…whatever…" Luffy said casually

She let out a sigh of relief "_it's just like him…not caring about my beauty at all, but I do care, for him I've to stay the most beautiful_" feeling in her chest turned into pain, her face started to get flushed even more, after few moments she fell down with a thud losing consciousness, Luffy heard the voice, turning around he saw Hancock laying on ground unconscious, her face was flushed and she was clenching her chest firmly (just like in Amazon Lily)

"AAAAAAAAAAHH! HANCOCK! WHAT HAPPENED?" his eyes were popped out and jaw was dropped almost to the ground, after nothing came to his mind he quickly lifted Hancock up and ran back to Sunny…

In Sunny's infirmary…

Hancock was on infirmary's bed and everyone including Luffy and Chopper was looking at Hancock

"I've no idea what kind of disease this is…nothing seems to be wrong with her" Chopper

"why she seems so happy even though she's passed out?" Ussop asked wondering

"…!..." Nami squinted her eyes as she realized something "Luffy! Did you say or by any chance 'do' something to her?"

"not really…I just said I'll marry her" Luffy said indifferently

"_figures_" everyone thought with a big sigh except Sanji who exploded in anger instead and grabbed Luffy by collar "YOU SHITTY GOMU! WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN? LIKE HELL I'LL LET YOU MARRY HANCOCK-CHAN, YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT HEAVENLY BEAUTY, I'LL STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING OF THE SOR-BHUWAA" Sanji received Nami's punch on his left jaw and crashed in the wall behind

"would you stop that? And you…" Nami turned to Luffy and punched him in head this time "think who you're talking to before you say anything…" after another big sigh "…not like you're gonna listen, honestly! All of you are nothing but pain" Nami left the infirmary

"..._must be dreaming about Luffy again…_" Robin thought while looking at unconscious, smiling Hancock

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THANKS FOR READING...:D...THE END...


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